i love you, my dear.

With all my heart and deep within my heart, I feel utter love for you, my dear. Forever I will adore you, for you are my first love. Once-awkward mumbles have become a peacefulness so comfortable I feel eternally warm inside as we stare through each other's souls. Your warm embrace, that once felt so unfamiliar and pristine, feels like home now, like safety, like magic. I once yearned your soft lips as you did mine, and as I kiss you now I feel the same as I did the first time our tender lips met; like wings of moths fluttering in our bellies as though our love is a light they swarm to. I'm so happy the we found us, my dear. For if we hadn't, I'd still be searching for you.

A small collection of the many poems I wrote for my love at the beginning;

i love sleeping next to you, 

your breaths so deep and heavy.

it is a lullaby

and although i can't sleep

because you're next to me,

your breathing and faint wheezes

pulls me to a dream-like place.

i know you're fast asleep and dreaming,

though you ever-so-slowly in your lovely state 

shuffle towards my curved body,

making sure to stop before we touch.

because we're just friends.

my belly is sleepless but

my

heart

feels 

so

alive,

like it's burning.

but we're just friends, 

and we can't be anything more.

i squint my eyes because the pain

of not having you hurts me so much.

i'm so close to your strong body

i can feel your warmth,

and smell your wondrous fragrance;

cologne fused with your virile skin.

i miss you so much when i don't see you it's pathetic.

i'm so sorry,

i can't help it.

i've tried so hard

but my heart has just

grown

so big 

for you.

sometimes i can't talk to you

because i don't know what to say

and all i can do is stare.

i feel so stupid,

but i love you

and i don't know if you love me back.

'so soft,' you say

as i feel your forehead and cheek with the back of my hand.

'i don't think you have a temperature,'

i reply,

breathless.

how can you take

all of my breaths away?

it's not fair,

and you must stop.

i know how to stop it,

but i can't get myself to,

to not see you

to not hear you.

i can't.

i can see you looking at me 

from under the floral pillow,

and i see you

but i won't tell you i see you

and that i love you

because we're just friends.

i can feel your loneliness

but who am i to say you love me?

the room was dark aside from the bright computer screen

and i can feel the way you are looking at me.

oh, but i can't see you

through the darkness,

because we're just

friends.

p.s. he did love me

You are my lullaby.

When I lie in your warm, soft arms 

I feel there is a wall surrounding us so thick 

no one could ever hurt us.

Your breaths soothe me,

The smell of your skin dazzles me,

Your strong muscles beneath your skin, holding my frame to yours,

Your top lip so full and plump, waiting for my own to kiss it.

So hold me,

I love you,

Hold me.

If I didn’t have to eat,

Or drink,

Or shower,

Or work,

Or needed not to see my others,

I would stay here forever,

For you are my lullaby.

I love you.

photos by

maria dangelo 

spinning pieces 

tamara lichtenstein 

bunny jenny