I can't believe I have neglected my writing blog for a month. I really am sorry. I don't like to let you down.
Although I have had university holidays for the past five weeks, I in no way had a holiday. I helped my mum, my only family here in Australia, move out of our home because she needed to go back to Germany. I have shed so many tears that my skin is dry and raw from the constant saltiness and moisture. We packed, we sold most of our furniture, we threw out things I thought we would keep forever. I feel like someone has torn out my insides; I feel empty. And now she is gone. And I am here, with our cat. Even he is lost. Though somehow, my mum still feels so present here. It soothes this hollow feeling within me. Even for a moment.
Uni is back and I am distracting myself with meaningless words in textbooks. I hear and see people talk, I try to join in, but I'm not there. I'm not here. I don't know where I am.
I will write soon. For now, I just need to ache, and the words will come later.
I'm sorry for the absence, and I hope with all my heart you are well and that I will see you soon.
x
photo by jenna carver
6 comments:
welcome back:)
xoxo
thank you a lot for your comment. your blog is beautiful.
http://tanjanicole.blogspot.com/
♥
Oh, love. I know how you feel. I have felt this emptiness. This feeling of feeling something missing. I have missed your writings. But of course, you need your time to hurt. We all understand that. Even this description of your last month has been so beautiful I want to cut it out and put it in a box for me to read later. I am always thinking about you.
that photo its really pretty :) you took it?. I hope you get better :)
I can feel your sadness somehow, dear. I do hope everything feels right/comfortable/at ease again for you. And I'm just too glad you are here now. I love you.
I have missed your words, love. But I completely understand. You need to take care of yourself right now. I'm sorry you are hurting. I hope you feel better soon.
xoxo
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