With all my heart and deep within my heart, I feel utter love for you, my dear. Forever I will adore you, for you are my first love. Once-awkward mumbles have become a peacefulness so comfortable I feel eternally warm inside as we stare through each other's souls. Your warm embrace, that once felt so unfamiliar and pristine, feels like home now, like safety, like magic. I once yearned your soft lips as you did mine, and as I kiss you now I feel the same as I did the first time our tender lips met; like wings of moths fluttering in our bellies as though our love is a light they swarm to. I'm so happy the we found us, my dear. For if we hadn't, I'd still be searching for you.
A small collection of the many poems I wrote for my love at the beginning;
i love sleeping next to you,
your breaths so deep and heavy.
it is a lullaby
and although i can't sleep
because you're next to me,
your breathing and faint wheezes
pulls me to a dream-like place.
i know you're fast asleep and dreaming,
though you ever-so-slowly in your lovely state
shuffle towards my curved body,
making sure to stop before we touch.
because we're just friends.
my belly is sleepless but
my
heart
feels
so
alive,
like it's burning.
but we're just friends,
and we can't be anything more.
i squint my eyes because the pain
of not having you hurts me so much.
i'm so close to your strong body
i can feel your warmth,
and smell your wondrous fragrance;
cologne fused with your virile skin.
i miss you so much when i don't see you it's pathetic.
i'm so sorry,
i can't help it.
i've tried so hard
but my heart has just
grown
so big
for you.
sometimes i can't talk to you
because i don't know what to say
and all i can do is stare.
i feel so stupid,
but i love you
and i don't know if you love me back.
'so soft,' you say
as i feel your forehead and cheek with the back of my hand.
'i don't think you have a temperature,'
i reply,
breathless.
how can you take
all of my breaths away?
it's not fair,
and you must stop.
i know how to stop it,
but i can't get myself to,
to not see you
to not hear you.
i can't.
i can see you looking at me
from under the floral pillow,
and i see you
but i won't tell you i see you
and that i love you
because we're just friends.
i can feel your loneliness
but who am i to say you love me?
the room was dark aside from the bright computer screen
and i can feel the way you are looking at me.
oh, but i can't see you
through the darkness,
because we're just
friends.
p.s. he did love me
You are my lullaby.
When I lie in your warm, soft arms
I feel there is a wall surrounding us so thick
no one could ever hurt us.
Your breaths soothe me,
The smell of your skin dazzles me,
Your strong muscles beneath your skin, holding my frame to yours,
Your top lip so full and plump, waiting for my own to kiss it.
So hold me,
I love you,
Hold me.
If I didn’t have to eat,
Or drink,
Or shower,
Or work,
Or needed not to see my others,
I would stay here forever,
For you are my lullaby.
I love you.
