Tuesday, December 21

protector


i dreamt last night that i was little again, and you were there, warm and bright, like my own sun. we were on a beach, with the ocean on each side of the sand, and the water was a pale grey. i was playing in the sand, and i came up to you laughing and squeezed you so tight. and even though i am now a head taller than you, in my dream you are taller, stronger than me. my protector, and you always will be mama. a man was with you, a man i haven’t seen before. he was tall and had a kind smile and warm brown eyes and had love in his eyes for you. i was playing in the sand and suddenly colourful flying trinkets filled my hands. i cast them and watched them soar through the salty air and you watched me carefully and smiled at me when i looked at you for encouragement. suddenly one of the flying trinket lands into the ocean. i run into the water and the sand disappears from under my feet. i reach and grab my toy and turn towards the shore. i paddle but i can’t stay above the water and my toes just brush against the sand. fear begins to swell up inside of me and i feel heavy, and i look up and there you are mama, with your warm smile and you reach for me and pull me to the shore. your arms swallow me up and i breathe deeply abd my hair is salty and sandy and i’m warm and i close my eyes. i wake up, wishing i was little again, that i wasn’t all grown up and that i could lay in your arms when i’m sleepy and fall asleep. love you to the moon and back a million times and more mum.  

4 comments:

Laura Bear said...

you are a lovely writer!

Unknown said...

This is so deep, spiritual. What a beautiful daughter you are for writing this x

liana said...

beautiful. and interesting.

E R I N said...

so beautiful to find words on a blog.


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